A day in the life of having twins....

It is 7:00a.m. I am laying on the floor on a bed I made beside Izaac's Crib, because apparently he wants a big boy bed but won't stay in his room alone with one. So I hear singing, it's Jaxon. He is like a bird, chirping his beautiful songs early in the morning. Think fast, I need to get to him before he wakes Izzac. I turn to my left, Izaac is staring at me. Too late. I need to get them both downstairs before Andrew wakes. I come out of Izaac's room as quiet as possible with a 2 year old. Too late, Andrew was awakened by the beautiful chirping from Jaxon's room.
Time for the morning sippy cup of milk. I must hurry, the twins have not developed patience just yet. All set. Turn on Elmo, get the boys settled for their morning cartoon. And it starts......
The twins surround the DVD player, not sure which one pushed eject. I start the movie , they sit down and seem to be content. Warner leaves for work. This when my little angels begin their day of terrorizing mom.
It is time for breakfast. They love cereal, such big boys I know. So they are in their high chairs eating like angels. I run upstairs to grab the laundry, I hear laughing. This couldn't be good! As I approach the bottom of the stairs I hear the bowl hit the floor and then the other. Perfect! Ok next thing on the list. Bath time.
Bath time goes smooth except Izzac won't sit down and keeps kicking water in Jaxon's face. Huge mess! So now they are clothed and ready for the day. I must hurry downstairs to clean the cereal mess before they get to it. Done. Now the bathroom. I must hurry. I hear laughing. I run downstairs. They have have the dishwasher open and both are standing on the door taking my dirty dishes out. SO I clean up that mess, and get back to the bathroom.
It is now 10:30, time to get Andrew ready for Kindergarten. This is a very tricky time, I shower him and just have to pray my house stays safe from the twins. Andrew's showered. Time to see the damage. As I approach the bottom stair, Jaxon greets me. He has purple marker all over his hands. Not good! Izaac is standing on the dishwasher door. He is extremely happy to point to the cupboards and drawers that his brother just colored on. He is very good at distracting me. I now clean up what I can of the marker mess. I make Andrew lunch, as I pass by the sliding glass door I notice more marker. "Note to self, clean marker after lunch". As I am making lunch the twins keep opening the oven. It's ok, it's off right? Wrong, now they are taking the shelves out of my oven and their hand are black. Clean them up. This is my countdown to nap time. Can't wait!
Ok 11:20 it's time to get Andrew to school, I carpool so I must hurry. Andrew is at school now, we are on our way home. I look in my rear view mirror Izaac has escaped his carseat. How he does this I have no idea. He is buckled in extremely tight. We get home I get the boys in their beds and ready for nap. I have to lay in Izaac's room until he falls asleep. My countdown to sanity begins. He is breathing heavy. I am way excited. Just then the beautiful chirping begins from Jaxon. Izaac is wide awake. Oh wonderful now Jaxon is yelling Izaac's name now. I tell Izaac to stay, and go into Jaxon's room. I quiet him in hopes Izaac didn't follow me in. I turn around, and there he is. Jaxon stand up and greets him with a smile. They laugh. I want to cry. I start the process over. They are asleep. Thank the lord.
I come downstairs to clean up the house and finish laundry. Half hour goes by and Jaxon is churping again. Izaac comes walking down the stairs. Lovely no nap today I suppose. I need a shower, I have had it. I give up. If they destroy my house at least I will be clean and somewhat sain. I shower and bite my lip as I come downstairs. Great Izaac is on the computer desk and Jaxon has the old laptop on the floor taking the keys out one by one. The dishwasher is open and so is the oven. The wipes are scattered from one end of the house to the other. Ok time out for babies. SO I clean up this mess, and they escape from time out. Can't find them. I hear voices in the basement. Haleluiah they are finally playing with their toys. Right, Izaac comes to the top of the stairs. He has this new thing where he won't keep pants or diapers on. It's fun. So we go find the diaper and put it back on.
I sit on the couch with both of them pleading for some kind of treaty. They are laughing and we are all happy. I must get my chores done, so I ask them to go play with their toys in the toy room. Keven and Andrew come home from school. I am very excited to see them hoping they can bring some sort of relief to my day.
You must know that in the time I have been typing this. Jaxon learned the diaper trick from his brother and brought me a full one filled with poo. I did change it and put his pants back on. The dishwasher is open and so is the oven. I also forgot to mention I do tape the dishwasher shut with box tape. They have figured out how to get the tape off. I just went into the kitchen and Jaxon emptied a drawer of papers and urinated all over them. I can hear their musical toys in their which mean they are going through the things on the counter. I must go, I have lots to do. Just had to get it all out!